


Second Choices

by Neferit



Series: Best Served Cold [3]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Friendship, Peaches - Freeform, Pon Farr, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-21
Updated: 2014-01-15
Packaged: 2017-12-03 03:56:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/693832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neferit/pseuds/Neferit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>... or what happened to Enterprise crew between Second Servings and Second Chances. Each chapter is separate story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Second Best

**Author's Note:**

> We start with Spock and Uhura, because I think there is angsty dynamics to be discovered.

The trial with Kirk had been the worst thing ever which happened to any of them - everything they ever did (or didn't do) pulled on the light, examined and criticised so much that more often then not she went to sleep in tears.

Part of her wondered how many times the same happened to Kirk.

Ever since they chased Kirk out of Starfleet, the _Enterprise_ was never the same - relationships strained, the atmosphere distrusting and overly formal; all in complete opposite of what it used to be like.

Spock took it bad; he acted even more Vulcan-like than he did back at Academy, and when she saw his suffering, hidden as it was, she told him to break it off with Kirk, once and for all. The woman had no shame - sending him emails so very often, about pregnancy which came from her infidelity. Leonard and Admiral Pike kept receiving the same emails - together with them, they came up with solution. Time to threaten that woman with charges of harassment pressed, if she won't cease attempts at contact. And the emails stopped at last.

"It will hurt, Spock," she whispered to him one evening, "but maybe you will finally start to heal after all of this."

For a moment which stretched for like forever he just gazed at her intently, his eyes stabbing into hers as if he wanted to see the motivation behind that sentence, before he nodded. "I believe that would be for the best. I shall contact the Elders tomorrow morning."

In a few days, they were called to New Vulcan, bringing new supplies, and Spock was meeting the Elders. She was the one who meanwhile had been filling the necessary paperwork about the marriage being dissolved - because breaking off a Vulcan bond was recognized as divorce by Starfleet, after all.

Things were much calmer once the bond had been broken, as Spock finally didn't have to block it all the time (that thing was actually pretty tiring, she's told, and had been part of the reason why Spock had been more Vulcan-like than he used to be), and soon she found herself circling around Spock (and Spock circling around her) again. Both of them were more mature than they were before - but before they could really hit it off, McCoy stormed into Spock's quarters one day and threw a PADD at him.

_Jane Tabitha Kirk - Unfairly Dishonorably Discharged! Seal of Federation, offering only the freshest of news!_

She wanted to send Kirk mail with telling her how much she crossed the line now - but when her message had been returned by lawyer's warning and a summon to a trial, part of her thought there is trouble ahead. It still didn't hit the home fully, until they heard what they were accused of and she stood and said "not guilty". Because sure as hell she was _not_ guilty. Only Chekov stood and pleaded guilty, earning himself several sharp glares, which he ignored, as he intently stared at the accuser.

Part of her would never believe how much dirty laundry can be aired in trial of decade. No, in trial of century, if not more. She is once again reminded of inappropriateness of her former relationship with Spock, back when they were still at Starfleet Academy, and it also makes her remember why she broke it off the first time.

The closing speech delivered by their nemesis was _coup de grâce_ , she thought, and hearing the verdict finally closed the gaping wound they caused in their stupidity. Guilty, and to be grounded for several years, their careers damaged that it would be quite a surprise, if they ever recovered. Only Chekov had slightly better verdict, mostly for the fact that he never said he was not guilty, and part of her envied him, because unlike them, he got back in the black relatively soon. Milk-runs mostly, but at least something...

They remained at Earth for several years, while Kirk and her new hubby had been jumping all around the galaxy. When they were finally allowed back in the black, they were desperate to get off _terra prima_ , back among the stars that called to them each night. She even hooked with Scotty - the man sure knew how to make woman feel appreciated, be it sandwiches prepared by himself or heartfelt compliments and declarations, and she thought yes, this was the man she could picture herself with for the rest of her life.

It took just one mission for her life to do once again a 180 degree turn.

They were on one of those boring away missions, where the posibility of any contact with natives is - in all possibility - not going to happen, so having a communication officer with you is mostly to have them breathe the "real" air for once. Trust it to be their luck that it went south pretty quickly. Ion storms sure happened more often, when the _Enterprise_ crew was concerned - and this one had been even more violent than usual. During the second week they were stuck on the planet, Spock's pon farr hit and she had been the only woman on the away team. And while Spock tried to make her understand that he was not worthy of her sacrifice, she was sure that she was not about to let him die.

It came as a hard slap in the face, when the flames of his pon farr expired, and they found out that the bond which created itself between them during their... _mating_ couldn't be broken without both of them losing their minds in the process, as Spock's mind had already been too damaged by the bonds broken in the past (and one of them had been her doing, little voice whispered in her head. _Your doing_.)

She loved Spock once, and she was sure he loved her back in his own way. But during time, they drifted apart, broke up, moved on and fell in love. But now, now they were forced together. Forced to be each other's second best for the rest of their lives.


	2. Second Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another part of 'Second Choices' verse. This time with Hikaru Sulu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers,I tried to look up some fencing terminology for this chapter - if you fence, please, try not to suffer too badly, it really was not my intention to torture you with wrongly used words.

 

He dreams of falling.

It's not like the dream was keeping him awake every day, or waking him up in the middle of the night. Most of his nights are either dreamless or filled with dreams with absolutely no sense he can recognize, and he's fine with that.

Still, time to time, he dreams of falling.

He dreams of standing on the Romulan drill, high above the planet of Vulcan, when it shakes and he's falling to the crumbling surface of the planet bellow. He feels the wind rushing around his ears, forcing his eyes closed, as the panic starts taking its hold on him. And then there is a body, warm and sure wrapped around him, and a voice yelling: "Beam us up! Beam us up!"

He wakes at that, his muscles cramping at the position he forced himself in during his sleep.

It always takes days, weeks, months for the dream to appear in his sleep again. He never spoke to anyone about it, thinking it unimportant, as long as it wouldn't be endangering the ship.

The dreams got worse after Kirk got dishonourably discharged. In his dreams, he's faling from the drill, but the wind is forcing his eyes open, so he sees the planet surface rushing closer by each second, only to be wrapped in tight embrace and woken up to "Beam us up! Beam us up!" First, he blamed it on the tense atmosphere on Enterprise - the previous friendly warmth had been replaced with formal rigidity. But it wasn't only that.

When they got called to the trial on Earth, the dream resurfaced with _riposte_ ; the velocity of his fall increasing each night, his eyes burning from the air, his muscles aching from the desperate struggle to slow his fall down.

He thinks Pavel knows of those dreams, since they were sharing quarters in the beginning of the trial; his eyes, usually so bright and eager now deep and knowing. Once Pavel pleaded guilty, though, they are separated, Pavel being relocated to different wing, so Hikaru and others couldn't influence him during the trial.

It is quite curious to see what kind of dirty laundry can get aired during trial of the century.

The final judgement is _coup de grâce_ , finishing the trial at last. Apart from Pavel, all of them were sentenced to taking off the active duty in space, leaving them the only option to teach at the Academy, with strict reprimand and bad report in their files.

Hikaru really missed the stars.

Teaching people fencing should be fulfilling but most of all it was frustrating. Some of these people wouldn't recognize _épée_ 's pointy end from its hold, and were so heavy on their feet that he had to force himself not to snap at them to return when they learn how to move lightly. It would be unfair to them, after all, not everyone could be so light on their feet as C... as Captain Kirk was.

The day he caught himself thinking that, years after the trial, the dream returned one more time. He was falling, but this time, completely alone.


	3. Second Turn To The Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now comes the installation of Second Choices, this time with our Vonderkid.

 

From the original crew, only he, Pavel Andreievich Chekov, had been allowed back in space after the trial Kirk versus Starfleet. He had been the only one who pleaded guilty, his conscience not allowing him to say anything else - and because of that, they let him back in the black, allowing him to navigate among the stars, serving at small ship of name _Praga_.

Sometimes he wondered, whether it was really worth it or not.

Still, it was more than most of his former crew had, the lot of them stuck on mother Earth, teaching cadets at the Academy, or doing some research. He hadn't spoken to them in ages, neither of them contacting him, and he not contacting them in return. What would he say, after all? The stars are still the same, what about the cadets?

He never had many friends, even before the _Enterprise Incident_ , as journalists liked to call it. Now, he has even fewer of them, and he wouldn't exactly call them friends either. More like companions - willing to let him join them during shoreleave, but not socializing with him above that. And he was content with that - at least he had more time to think about what he would like to write to his former Captain, to Jane T. Kirk, now Jane T. Kirk of house Riurren, wife of Romulan ambassador.

_'My Captain_ ,' he would write and then delete the words. ' _My Captain_.' He lost the right to call her that when he allowed her to be chased off _Enterprise_. ' _Ma'am_ ,' he would try again, ' _I'm writing you concerning...'_ This was when his inspiration left him completely. He didn't have the right words to say he was sorry - and just typing those few words didn't seem enough.

Some would say he was obsessed with the letter he kept on writing over and over. They would probably be right.

It still surprised him to come to greet the Ambassador they were supposed to bring to some minor conference and find out the ambassador is Maier Riurren and his wife Jane.

She changed so much since the last time he saw her. Her posture was still straight and proud, her head held high. Her hair, though, had been in an elaborate hairstyle, the expression on her face calm and strict, just like her husband's, while before her lips would carry her infamous smirk. She was carrying her child, little S'tark, as he learnt before, in her arms, the boy sucking on his thumb while looking around with wide eyes, the same blue gaze as his mother resting on him.

And then the boy looked straight at him and gave him a wide smile and giggled.

His mother looked after the source of boy's laughter, and he saw her eyes widening at the sight of him - he was unsurprised by that; he himself would not expect anyone from the old _Enterprise_ bridge crew in the space so soon. And then she nodded and went after her husband and Captain Radetzky, the boy waving at him before the door closed after them.

The little boy sure took to him - every time he was near, the boy reached for him and giggled. The whole crew was starting to make fun of him - once again calling him Vonderkid (how he hated his accent at times!) - but Jane Kirk looked at him thoughfully, when he managed to calm suddenly agitated boy one day.

"I would like to talk to you after your shift," she told him that day, and his heart stopped for a moment, before it started beating madly.

Later that day, when his shift was over, he spent several minutes in the restroom, checking if he looked presentable in the mirror there. His curls were just as unmanageable as always, his uniform still hanging rather awkwardly on his frame - but in his mind, only in ceremonial uniform he would look more official. Standing in front of the door to cabin Jane Kirk shared with her family he requested entry, and the door immediately opened, letting him in.

It was so very strange to be alone with her and her son, since the ambassador had some meeting with Captain. She would ask him about his life since she left _Enterprise_ , eagerly listening to his faltering story of navigating under Captain Spock, then being sorta arrested during the trial and kept alone so the others would not influence him.

"I'm sorry," he blurted in the end. " _Keptin_ , I'm so... so very sorry..."

"Oh Pavel," was all she said for a very long time, silence covering the whole room like a blanket, as both of them were thinking about what to say next. In the end, it was S'tark, who broke the uncomfortable silence, as he giggled and run over to hug the young officer.

"Looks like the young man woke from his nap and wants to sociallize," Jane said fondly, and everything was forgotten, as the boy demanded attention of both adults.

Before the journey ended, however, Pavel talked to Jane one more time, this time at observatory lounge, staring at the stars behind the windows. She told him of the months spent on Earth before S'tark was born, and he listened eagerly, once again feeling like a heel for not standing by her.

"I'm sorry, _Keptin_ ," he said, and this time, Jane gave him a small smile. "I know. I understand how it must felt - not knowing what to do and whom to believe." She closed her eyes for a moment. "Back then, I would prefer to have someone standing by me openly. But if nothing else," she looked at him directly, "you at least didn't add the insult to the already bleeding injury, and your support had been shown in different places."

They slowly walked towards her quarters, the silence between them companionable this time. Once the door opened, little S'tark run out and immediately glued himself to Pavel's leg. "Pashka!" he cried out, looking up with a big smile.

The journey itself ended the next day. As the ambassador, his wife and son went to the transport platform, she turned back. "I forgive you, Pavel," she said, and he felt as if a mountain was lifted from his shoulders. It must have been visible on him, for she smiled and handed him PADD. "My contact details," she explained with a small smile when he gave her a surprised look. "S'tark would miss his new friend, after all."

The were transported away, but he felt his fingers tingling, as he looked on the PADD in his hands. It held a picture of him with S'tark glued to his leg (the scene from few days ago replaying in his mind), and several adresses, but in that moment, he heard only one thing.

_"I forgive you."_

He was forgiven. Now he finally could start living again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does that really sound so awkward to you, as it does to me? O_o


	4. Peach a Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now comes Leonard's turn.

 

He couldn't stand to look at apples for several years now. _'Apple a day keeps doctor away,'_ Jane used to sing song at him, cheekily bit into the apple she held in her hand. He used to roll his eyes at her antics, grumble something about 'dammit, Jane's' and eye one of his ever present hypos thoughfully, enjoying the groan Jane would make when she noticed where his eyes were.

_Apple a day keeps doctor away._

He wondered, if Jane ate the apples during her pregnancy. During the pregnancy she should enjoy, being pregnant with the man she was bonded with, surrounded by friends. Pregnancy he should monitor, as she had been his best friend, the only one he had one during one of the most miserable periods of his whole life; always by his side, ready to pick him up if he slipped up.

_Apple a day keeeps doctor away._

She had apple with her when she was taking the Kobayashi Maru simulation for the third time. _'Third time the charm, Bones - have some faith,'_ she told him. Have some faith. Every time he scowled at some idea that just hit her, every time he voiced doubts, she said that. Have some faith. After some time, he actually started to have the faith she always spoke about. Nothing would be impossible, if one had faith.

But then he lost the faith, and he turned his back at the miracle worker; the whole thing even worse because he didn't bother to check his facts and references. She looked so broken that day, yet her eyes still held the same faith as usual. In his anger, he mistook it for mockery, and spoke harshly, pushing her away when it was she who needed a friend.

Joanna asked him what exactly happened to Jane (whom she knew as auntie Jane) the first time they talked over the vidcom, about two months after Jane had been discharged, and when he ranted about what he heard, she just asked him one simple question: "You mean you didn't ask her, daddy?"

Talking. The bloody thing which could help him back then, when his marriage to Jocelyn had been falling apart, and all he did was the exactly the same thing he did now - clamp up and refuse to talk to anyone, already forming an opinion of how things are and not changing his mind, no matter what.

He though of all the emails she sent him and which he deleted that one time, dismissing the thought as another medical emergency came up and demanded his attention. He had better things to do than second-guess every single thing he did in his whole life.

Or at least he thought that way.

When they were next on shore-leave at Earth, he and the rest of the bridge crew decided to get some proper meal; anything not made aboard spaceships would be good. And everyone they asked pointed them towards some place called Danny's, claiming they have the best Italian in the whole city, if not the whole state. He should have connect the dots, when he learnt they were in Riverside.

_Riverside._

It shouldn't be such a surprise to suddenly see her standing by their table, her face calm and voice soft and clear when she asked: "May I take your orders?" Her face didn't betray what she was thinking when they started to insult her; she only gave them the professional small smile waitresses everywhere wore and with a quiet "I take it you need more time" she was gone, another waitress coming to take their orders after a few minutes. Young Chekov nearly run out of here, mumbling something about not really liking Italian and how he needs a proper Russian meal, the rest of them ordered some pasta or pizza for their meal, chatting between themselves.

And then, several months after that particular shore leave, he went to call to Joanna. Instead of her, Jocelyn picked it up; her face tight and furious. "What the hell were you thinking when you did that?" she barked at him, not allowing him to say anything. He opened his mouth to bark right back at her, when she shoved a PAD with highlighted article into the screen. Seal of Federation. _Jane T. Kirk - Unfairly Dishonourably Discharged!_ it screamed in big letters, calm face of his former best friend on the cover.

"I can't believe you did take a part in that, Leonard," she said, closing the channel, leaving him to ponder what the hell was that article supposed to be about. With few moves he accessed it online, feeling himself slid lower and lower on his seat. With a few strokes over the keys he downloaded the whole article on his PAD, and storming out of his room he run to Spock's quarters, barging in as if a devil himself was after him.

"Read this!" he barked at him, basically throwing the PAD at his head before he stormed out to his own quarters again.

There was already a message waiting for him, blinking on the screen. Jocelyn forwarded him a message from the lawyer who divorced them all those years ago. It was surprising, how so few words could be so crushing. "Decision of the court at matters of Mr McCoy versus Mrs McCoy is that Mr McCoy's visitation rights are to be revoked, due to him not being proper parent role to his daughter."

_I thought you were a changed woman!_

And he thought himself better than that. As he searched through his mail, he found that after certain date no more messages came from Jane, given the nature to his first and only reply to her attempts at communication (which were promptly deleted by him once he determined the sender), he wasn't all that surprised.

_Apple a day..._

The court was one big circus he thought; in one last attempt at keeping a face the officers of the Enterprise stood up and said "not guilty", with only one exception; young Chekov stood up, his head down, and said "guilty".

For the whole of the court, he hadn't seen Jane; only her lawyer had been present, and from what he gathered, Jane was watching the court in some other room. Only once he saw her; on the very last day of the whole circus.

She had her hair down, and dressed in light blue dress she was striking; her eyes shining with inner peace and calm, happiness radiating from her in waves, dimmed only when she faced them, her face closing up for a moment (just like that time they met her at the pizza place) before she spoke. Her voice carried the same captivating quality it always did; when she spoke, people listened. Back then, she didn't speak, he thought, not that they actually gave her an opportunity to do so. Just once she smiled, as her eyes slid to the side.

"But you know what? Personally I couldn't care less about you know - I'm content to have my husband-to-be and my son."

She left, and together with her left his taste for apples.

Before, he hoped he would be always planetside - it didn't matter on what planet, as long as it was not in the outer space. After the time they spent in the black, he came to like the place, no longer finding its vast space threatening. And now it was taken from him, and he was grounded to the planet that was taken from him in his messy divorce.

He's allowed some hours at Starfleet Medical, he also had several courses to teach, and when the opportunity presented itself, he burrowed himself in research. Anything to escape the emptiness he suddenly felt.

It came as a surprise when he was contacted by Joanna. As far as he knew, she never tried to contact him before, so this was rather unexpected, and he couldn't stop his palms from sweating as he pressed the button and accepted the call.

His daughter was beautiful young woman, just as he had always known her to become. She quickly got to the point of her call - she wanted to join the Starfleet, and as such she wanted him to know it before he met her during the classes. After all those years he didn't see her he kept on thinking what his daughter grew up to be like, and what path she would choose in her life... He didn't think she would follow up into the Starfleet.

She didn't have much problems with her studies at the Academy; she trained to become a fully certified nurse, and immediately signed up for serving in the black, once she graduated. And with her came his taste for peaches.

"Peach a day to not keep your home away," she said, handing him a peach, a week before he was supposed to rejoin his old crew among the stars. He laughed about that, until Jo finished what she intended to say. "At least auntie Jane used to tell me so, when she called me."

Peach a day to not keep your home away, he repeated every time he got his hands on a peach, now that he was back in the black. And every time he took a bite, he thought about the cheeky smile his friend would give him, or how is daughter used to giggle, when he made peach cobbler for a dessert during the visits she had been allowed to pay him when she was little and he had been studying at the Academy.

_Peach a day to not keep your home away._

If only he heard that one all those years back, and paid attention to it. How different things might have been he would never know - but at least peaches still held the memory of home he used to have. Used to have, before he destroyed it as he destroyed so many things he once held dear.


End file.
